The Idiot’s Guide to Driving

To all dumb drivers, plug this basic program into your dim brains:

10 If you are in the left lane and not passing any cars, then 20
20 Move into the right lane

The left lane is for passing. That is all you need to memorize.

The left lane is not a sightseeing lane. It is not your lane even if you are going exactly the speed limit. It is for fucking passing. If you are not passing anyone, go to the right lane. Stay there. Until you have to pass. Move into the left lane, pass, and then get back into the right lane. Duh.

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Comments

  • Laurel Lee  On July 19, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Additional driving instructions (especially for southern drivers):

    If you are driving in the right lane (as per the instructions above) and someone is merging into your lane from an on ramp AND there is no one in the left lane, MOVE over to allow the person to merge. CA drivers do this well, NC drivers somehow skipped this class in driver’s ed, and MA drivers only allow you to merge if they are in a good mood.

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