Supersize Me

I was purchasing wholesome toiletries at the CVS in Brookline and stumbled upon an entire wall of condoms. There were the usual extra-sensitive, super-lubed, ribbed, some new ones such as the “for her pleasure” with a battery-powered stimulation ring, and then a doozy of come-on marketing: Extra-large condoms marked with a giant XL.

I don’t really believe these are any bigger than every other condom out there, but assuming they are, who wouldn’t buy a box and replace the condoms inside with whatever condoms are appropriate to one’s anatomy?

I’m seeing Billie D. Williams as the spokesperson for these bad boys. Malt liquor in one hand, a pack of Magnum XLs in the other, beautiful woman on the sofa, he turns to the camera:

“Bigger is Better.”

Sly smile and wink, he pivots towards his date. Fade to black.

Nice Package. (Bonus Detail: Notice the Photographer's Reflection in the Photo. Do I Sense a New Spokesperson for this Excellent Product?)

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